Leading with Curiosity: The Power of Asking the Right Questions

High-performing leaders understand that exceptional leadership requires ongoing self-reflection, discipline, and restraint. One of the most critical skills to master is the art of asking better questions of yourself and others.

The right questions help us engage more effectively with others, improve our decision-making, and better understand ourselves. They keep our minds flexible and open to fresh possibilities. When we ask better questions, we get better results.

Begin by Questioning Yourself


The first level of questioning focuses on the self. Before we consider how to lead others, we must first look inward. Ask yourself: What are my goals and values? What am I resisting changing that might be making things more difficult? Which assumptions do I need to examine so I can broaden my perspective? What new skills will help me adapt to this environment?

Great leaders understand that leadership is about influencing hearts and minds to drive collective goals forward. To do this, we must first consider our own strengths and weaknesses, staying aware of how our behavior aligns with our values and intentions.

Good intentions do not guarantee that our behavior always reflects our highest values. For example, imagine you are a leader who feels justified in cutting someone off during a conversation because their concerns are not a top priority. You might display body language that signals, “I am the boss, and I have earned the right to dismiss,” or take calls while someone is talking to you. Some leaders make a habit of this.

Even if you believe you are simply setting boundaries, others may leave these interactions feeling devalued. Instead of energizing the people around you, your presence has a demotivating effect.

Through self-reflection, you can recognize this behavior and adjust. You can stay connected to who you are and what you want to achieve, balancing your priorities while still honoring the people around you.

Ask Questions That Engage and Challenge

The second level of questioning involves understanding and inspiring others. This means asking questions that help you know what people value and what support they need. For instance, consider asking your team: What opportunities do you see? What energizes you? If you were running this company, what would be your top priorities?

These questions encourage others to think strategically and communicate more openly. They show that you value their perspective. When individuals feel seen and heard, they become more engaged, innovative, and committed to shared objectives.

The third level of questioning focuses on the broader context of decisions and strategy. Ask questions that challenge current assumptions and open the door to new ways of thinking: How can we approach this problem from another angle? What would have to happen to make this decision a good one? If we could not choose any of our current options, what else might we do? Which perspectives are we missing?

These questions remind us that leadership is not simply about taking action. It is about considering the full range of possibilities, weighing consequences, and working toward a truly effective solution. When we take the time to explore questions before settling on answers, we create a culture of learning, adaptability, and resilience.

Under Pressure? Reflect, Don’t React 

Asking better questions is not always easy, especially during times of crisis or high-stakes decision-making. When stress and anxiety rise, the amygdala in our brain can hijack logical thinking, triggering a fight-or-flight response. In these moments, we are more inclined to jump to quick solutions rather than remain curious and open.

However, questions engage our thinking brain. They help us pause, consider, and regain clarity. By seeking more information rather than rushing to judgment, we keep our strategic minds online. This does not come naturally when we feel threatened, so it must be practiced.

Consider a life-threatening encounter in the wild. If a lion is about to attack, we are wired to run. We do not stop to ask, “What are my best chances of survival?” In most leadership scenarios, the threats are not physical; still, the triggers can send us into a state of mental fog, where we make hasty decisions that do not reflect our values and may lead to poor results.

The LOVE Framework: A Tool for Better Questioning


To remain calm and open to better reflection and questioning, consider a simple tool captured by the acronym LOVE — listen, observe, value, and engage.

Listen to your heart and mind by asking reflective questions. Get to know your triggers, biases, and strengths. Reflecting in this way helps you align your actions with your core values.

Observe the connections between people and ideas by asking questions that seek truth and avoid assumptions. This includes asking clarifying questions, inviting others to explain their viewpoints, and looking for patterns and themes in what people say.

Value alignment is essential, so keep focusing on the vision and the goal. Ask existential questions about the kind of leader you want to be. Do not let external pressure push you into decisions that conflict with your core principles. Strive to align your actions with what you value most.

Engage others through authentic communication that acknowledges their contributions, sets clear boundaries, and avoids dismissing or devaluing them. Ask questions that make people feel heard and respected. This helps establish trust, which leads to better collaboration and outcomes.

By choosing to listen, observe, value, and engage, you unlock your capacity to approach challenges with curiosity and openness. Better questions lead to better results. They help you remain flexible, learn from those around you, and encourage your team to do the same. Embracing this habit — asking better questions — is the leadership shift that can truly change everything.

Talia Fox is a leadership strategist, CEO of KUSI Global, and the author of The Power of Conscious Connection: 4 Habits to Transform How You Live and Lead (Ideapress Publishing, 2023).