Grief and Growth: Why and How to Transform Bereavement Policies

EDITOR’S NOTE — This story includes discussion of suicide. If you or someone you know needs help, the national suicide and crisis lifeline in the U.S. is available by calling or texting 988. There is also an online chat at 988lifeline.org.

Workplaces regularly celebrate life events with birthday lunches, baby showers, and retirement balloons, but they often overlook other more somber universal human experiences, such as grief. Too often, grief is treated as something separate, private, or inconvenient. But ignoring grief doesn’t make it disappear — instead, it compounds isolation, anxiety, and productivity loss, said Jill Kottmeier during her session at SHRM25 in San Diego. Kottmeier, the director of well-being and bereavement services at Endeavor Health in suburban Chicago, shared how to approach this deeply human issue with empathy, structure, and cultural awareness.  

The Challenge of Supporting Grief at Work 

Supporting grieving employees isn’t as simple as offering sympathy. Kottmeier explained that the grief experience is wide-ranging. It affects employees cognitively, emotionally, behaviorally, and physically. In fact, 89% of grievers experience at least one health impact, according to research from loss support company Empathy, the most common being anxiety, sleep disruption, confusion, headaches, and weight changes.  

Cultural context adds further complexity. Grief doesn’t look the same across families, faiths, or communities, which means two employees experiencing similar losses may grieve in different ways. Rather than making assumptions or relying on one-size-fits-all support, Kottmeier pushes HR professionals to ask, “What does this look like for you?”

While many HR professionals recognize the need for flexibility, company policies can be a source of constraint. According to Kottmeier, most U.S. employers offer only three to five days of bereavement leave, and most policies also do not cover pregnancy and infant loss, pet loss, or the death of a close friend or other nonrelative who is considered family. 

Podcast: Dealing with Suicide in the Workplace

What Unacknowledged Grief Costs Employers and Employees 

Grief doesn’t vanish just because the workday begins. When it goes unacknowledged, it creates two kinds of losses: measurable costs to the business, and human costs that erode trust, connection, and well-being.

According to Kottmeier, grief-related challenges cost U.S. employers an estimated $75 billion annually, a portion of which stems from lost productivity. Nearly 91% of grieving employees report being significantly less productive, according to Empathy’s research.  When organizations fail to acknowledge and support grief, the result is often disengagement, absenteeism, and attrition, which are quiet costs that add up quickly. 

Beyond the business impact, grief takes a profound emotional and relational toll. Some people carry invisible wounds, such as secondary loss — the feeling of abandonment when support doesn’t show up, she said. For example, the same report revealed that 30% of grievers tasked with managing a loved one’s estate say this responsibility strained or ended their marriage or primary romantic relationship. 

“When people feel invisible in their grief, they may come to believe that their workplace doesn’t care,” Kottmeier noted. That perceived absence of support can compound feelings of isolation, which is especially concerning given that 1 in 4 young people who die by suicide were recently bereaved, according to a Journal of Affective Disorders study cited by Kottmeier. This connection between unprocessed grief and mental health crises underscores the urgency of action.

With so much at stake, HR leaders have both an opportunity and a responsibility to create systems of care that help ensure grief doesn’t go unacknowledged or unsupported.

Rethinking Bereavement Policy and Practice

Kottmeier believes that building a grief-inclusive culture begins with examining bereavement policies through a more human lens. Does your policy define grief narrowly, or does it allow room for different types of loss? Does it extend support to partners experiencing pregnancy loss? Does it include co-workers whose deaths may profoundly impact the team? 

Here are Kottmeier’s six tips for building a more grief-inclusive workplace.

• Expand Bereavement Policies. Include pregnancy loss, pet loss, and loss of chosen family. Also, specify that both expectant parents receive time off in the case of a miscarriage or stillbirth.
• Provide Flexible Return-to-Work Options. “Grief is not linear,” Kottmeier said. Allow phased returns, remote days, or reduced workloads as employees re-acclimate. Encourage a midweek start or intermittent leave if needed.
• Prepare Managers to Respond with Compassion. Train leaders in grief-informed communication, including what not to say and how to anticipate needs. 
• Support the Team as a Whole. When an employee dies, teams are often left stunned and unsupported. Bringing in grief counselors, holding internal memorials, and delaying job postings can make a meaningful difference. 
• Honor Anniversaries and Milestones. “There are no five stages of grief,” Kottmeier said, referencing the Kübler-Ross model that is often used to chart the progression of bereavement. Grief doesn’t end when someone returns to work. Marking anniversaries or birthdays of the deceased shows long-term care and helps employees feel seen over time.
• Offer Peer Support Resources. Many employees find comfort in talking to others who have experienced loss. Employers can provide referrals to local grief groups or use text-based grief services to support both employees and their networks.

Template: Bereavement Leave Policy

Reimagining the Role of Work

Grief doesn’t wait until after hours. It follows employees into meetings, emails, and commutes. But with intentionality, the workplace can become a space of solace, not avoidance. “Imagine a culture where employees want to come to work on their hardest days,” Kottmeier said. “Not to escape their grief, but because they know they’ll find care, connection, and compassion.”

It’s a bold but achievable vision. It starts with a single conversation, a moment of silence, a reworded policy, or a bouquet of flowers sent to a funeral home. It’s found in listening instead of fixing and in creating space for grief not as a problem to solve, but as an experience to honor.