Stop Asking “How’s It Going?” — Coaching That Actually Moves the Needle

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Anne: Welcome to All Things Work, where we are recording at SHRM Talent 2026 (Talent 2026) in Dallas with a special live audience. We've all seen it happen — a project falls short, a deadline whooshes by, or the results simply aren't there when we finish a project.

For managers and workplace leaders, the go-to explanation often centers around a lack of effort or motivation amongst employees, and we may assume everybody just needs to work harder or get better. But what if that assumption misses the mark entirely?

Hard work does not always guarantee success, and when we expect pure effort to fix systemic communication gaps, it can create friction across teams, impact project outcomes, and lead to disconnect throughout the entire process. So instead of addressing the root of the problem, we risk placing blame on employees who could actually excel with improved alignment. The problem isn't so much about effort, or lack thereof — it's more about direction.

Today we're challenging the conventional wisdom around performance issues. We will break down actionable steps to address the three key failure points of alignment, and how to shift our mindsets in daily practice to ensure every ounce of effort drives real value. Joining us to walk us through this process is Joe Rotella. Joe, you are the Chief Value Officer at Delphia Consulting. Welcome to All Things Work.

Joe Rotella: Thank you. I'm so excited to be here because I love talking about managing — and not just reviewing — performance. I see this all the time: a team that is motivated, smart, and works incredibly hard, and then they miss the mark. Nobody can figure out why, and the first thing leaders say is, "Oh, they needed to work harder, or try harder, or put more in." And usually that's not the problem.

Anne: Usually not. So, Joe, let's get to the core of today's topic. You argue most performance problems are often caused by misalignment. What does that look like in the average workplace setting?

Joe Rotella: I think that's the challenge, because it looks totally normal. It looks like everything is on track and going well. You have team meetings, you talk about it. The problem is people are just reporting on status or activities they've completed, but they're not really talking about what they're trying to solve or whether they're making progress toward the vision, the end goal.

That's the big challenge — it looks just like normal until it all goes south.

Anne: So let's turn to our audience. How many of you feel like everybody put in the effort, there was so much work involved, but when it came to the end goal of that project, you didn't come to the results you were looking for and people were left confused? All right, quite a few of you. What does it say to you when you see those raised hands?

Joe Rotella: I see it all the time, and I see it happen even in situations where the leaders — the coaches — feel like they're right on top of it, because they're really good at asking, "How's it going? You good? Everybody good? You're good, I'm good. Okay, let's talk next week. Everything's good." And they get a false sense of security because they're just asking about status, not really alignment.

Anne: So let's address the "work smarter, not harder" elephant in the room. You mention that even the most highly motivated person can essentially waste their effort if they're putting it into the wrong things. How does this misalignment manifest in a team setting? What are the telltale signs leaders should be looking for?

Joe Rotella: I think it's when folks just hear, "It's okay. Everything's okay." And team meetings are the worst, because the agenda is essentially the seating chart. Do you have meetings where the agenda is literally, "Okay, how are you doing? Stacy, how are you? Mike, great, how are you?" And at the end, the coach says, "Okay, everybody's good. Let's go. See you next week."

Why isn't that agenda focused on the end goal and what we're trying to accomplish? Maybe you only talk to one or two people that week because they're really focused on a specific goal — and someone else doesn't get much air time, and that's okay. But we should always be talking about the end deliverable, not just the activities. Otherwise, in these meetings, everybody seems busy, everybody's working hard, they're checking the boxes — but maybe what they're delivering is just a little bit off the mark. It looks normal, it looks like everything's good, until suddenly it just blows up.

Anne: And it feels like sometimes, when we're working so hard and so busy, it's almost like a badge of pride. You're coming off like you're doing your work — but that doesn't always mean it's leading to success.

Joe Rotella: Exactly. And most people think of this as, "Oh, we missed the mark and it was a bad thing." But I can give a personal example. Our CEO asked me to deliver a report — a summary on something. And I can go down a rabbit hole better than anybody you've ever met. Are any of you like that? You're insanely curious, so once you start something, you just go deep — Google, Wikipedia, AI, you're all over the place.

I really worked super hard on this and ended up producing a 10-page report, fully documented with citations. It was like a mini dissertation. When I gave it to the CEO, he said, "Wow, this is... I was really hoping for just a paragraph or a couple of bullets. I mean, this is good." He could see all the wind deflate out of my system. I wasted so much time and effort because I wasn't clearly aligned on what he wanted from the get-go.

Anne: I think a lot of us can relate to that. So in your framework, you address three key failure points in the alignment process across the life cycle of a project. Can you walk us through those, starting with the expectation phase?

Joe Rotella: That example was really good — I didn't have a clear understanding of the expectations. I talk about this a lot, and I'm working on a book where I explore it further. I love the phrase "clarity is kindness." When I got that assignment, the direction was vague: "I need to better understand this — give me something." That's not clear.

In that case, I overachieved. But it's easy to see how it happens, because managers think they just tell you to do something and figure, "We hired you because you're good at what you do — you understand what that means." But you might not have the same understanding of what that means. Clarity is kindness. It really helps to know right out of the gate: what does it take to win? What does it take to be successful? What would you consider success?

The first failure point is right at the start — making sure there is a mutual understanding of what it takes to win.

Anne: So let's dive into the second failure point, the execution phase. Why does it seem like projects are really on track until that moment they go off the rails?

Joe Rotella: Till they go south, right? I think it's because coaches are asking the wrong questions. I've observed a lot of one-on-ones, and I hear the same thing over and over. We could role play it right now, Anne. "How's it going?"

Anne: It's going well.

Joe Rotella: It's going well? Good. So everything's good? You're good? Work's good?

Anne: Sure.

Joe Rotella: Sure, okay. I'm good too. So let's do this again next week. That's a terrible one-on-one.

You don't want to use one-on-ones or those conversations to just check on status. You should have systems in place — a project management system, a checklist, something — where you already know the status. Instead, a better question is: "What are you doing now? What are you doing next? What can I do to help make sure there are no barriers? How can I help you succeed?"

You might reference the end deliverable: "We mentioned we needed one million of X — what number are we at today, and do you see any problems reaching that end number?" I don't want to know what you did to get to where we are today — that's totally rear-view mirror. I really want to know what you're working on next and what I can do to support you.

Anne: We also have the evaluation phase — the third failure point. You touched on it when discussing one-on-ones, but when it comes to feedback broadly, why do so many managers wait until the end to provide it instead of offering it throughout the process?

Joe Rotella: Feedback, in general, can be a hot mess. I'll ask you, Anne — if I said, "I'd like to give you some feedback," what's the first emotion you'd feel?

Anne: Concern.

Joe Rotella: Concern. How about the audience? Concern, anxiety, nervousness, defensiveness?

Anne: I see a lot of nodding over here.

Joe Rotella: Yeah, because we're so used to only getting feedback when it's a critique. So the first thing coaches need to do is get into the habit of giving feedback on a regular basis — every week. I keep a Post-it Note with all my team members on the side of my monitor and check each one off when I've given them feedback, whether good or constructive, using the SBIN approach: describe the Situation, the Behavior you saw, the Impact it had, and what the Next steps are.

For example: "Anne, I noticed that you came up and talked to me in advance of the podcast, and it made me feel really comfortable. That's the behavior — the impact was that it made me more comfortable as a guest, and I think you should really continue doing that going forward."

People hold back on feedback because managers think it's supposed to be only constructive. You don't want to hear it, so your amygdala goes off, you do fight-or-flight, and we never actually make people feel good about sharing what's going on. SHRM now calls it "feed forward" — don't focus on the rear-view mirror. Don't spend all the time on what was done wrong. Quickly cover the situation, the behavior, the impact — and then focus on what we're going to do in the future, whether that's the same thing or a change.

Anne: For those who may struggle with giving positive feedback, do you have any additional suggestions — especially when also trying not to micromanage?

Joe Rotella: Micromanagement is a tough one. No manager starts the day saying, "I'm going to micromanage today." It comes from FUD — Fear, Uncertainty, and Doubt. As a manager, I need to feel confident that you're doing the right thing. For that confidence, you should use a system, not just ask. Because otherwise you end up asking, "Did you do it? Did you do it? Did you do it yesterday? Are you gonna do it tomorrow?" That's micromanaging — and it feels like someone is breathing down the back of your neck when you're trying to run a marathon.

Instead, make the intent clear: "How can I help you? Where are you now, and how can I help you get to that specific deliverable?" Don't ask just about status — make sure the message is, "I'm here to help." If necessary, set up that framing upfront: "Anne, you have this assignment and six months to complete it. How about every month we'll