Analytical Aptitude in Action—Workplace Romance

Given the significant time we spend at work, workplace romances are virtually unavoidable. Understanding the nuances of these relationships is crucial for both employees and employers to navigate them more effectively and promote healthy workplace dynamics. Recent SHRM research sheds light on the prevalence, impact and perceptions surrounding workplace romances, unveiling a few unexpected discoveries.

In the past year alone, half of respondents (49 percent) admitted to having a workplace crush, 1 in 5 (21 percent) went on a date with a co-worker and 11 percent matched with a co-worker on an online dating platform. For some, these interactions turned into workplace romances, which contrary to what we often see in film and television, aren’t always detrimental to workers’ professional lives.

According to our findings, most workers currently involved in these relationships actually report overwhelmingly positive effects. For instance, 85 percent of respondents said that their current workplace romance has an extremely positive or positive impact on their overall mood at work. Additionally, many experienced effects such as increased motivation (83 percent), a heightened sense of belonging (83 percent), enhanced commitment to their organization (81 percent) and an improved work/life balance (80 percent). Some may argue that these workers view their experiences through rose-colored glasses, but approximately half of those previously in a workplace romance still acknowledged positive impacts from their past office relationships. 

The Aftermath

Not all workplace romances result in happily ever after—some do come to an end. Yet, half of respondents previously involved in a workplace romance (52 percent) stated that work-related issues played no part in their breakup, with 42 percent indicating that they had a minimal influence and only 6 percent attributing a significant role in their breakup to work-related issues. These findings suggest that while working together can present challenges, it is often not the primary factor in relationship breakdowns.

Surprisingly, the majority of those who were previously in a workplace romance (62 percent) continued to work with their ex after their relationship ended. However, 10 percent had left a job they otherwise liked due to their workplace romance ending. Those who were romantically involved with a superior were more likely to leave a job they otherwise enjoyed when their relationship ended, highlighting an alarming trend concerning power dynamics and how they can adversely affect subordinates and their career paths.

Despite this, three-quarters of respondents (74 percent) said they do not regret their former workplace relationships. However, individual reflections vary within this group; half (48 percent) said they would do it again, while 26 percent would not. We asked respondents to share a little bit more about their experiences, and they provided insightful reflections. One respondent who did not regret their office relationship said, “I ended up marrying the man I was dating, and I learned a lot about myself, even though our marriage did not last.” Another who did regret their workplace relationship shared, “It caused me stress at work and home that I didn’t need, made me doubt myself more than I should.”

Disclosure and Organizational Policies 

The decision to disclose a workplace romance is complicated for many reasons—for example, some may not consider their relationship formal and worthy of reporting, and others may not work on the same team as their love interest. Many do choose to disclose their relationships, but we also found that some of these relationships had been inadvertently exposed by co-workers. More than 1 in 5 respondents (22 percent) said their current or former relationship was reported to their employer by someone else. Nearly one-third (31 percent) said their current or former relationship was never formally reported but was made public by someone else at work.

Our research found that perceptions of workplace relationships varied depending on the circumstances. Specifically, relationships between colleagues of the same level garnered more acceptance compared to those involving power imbalances. Given the nuanced nature of workplace romances, it makes sense that most workers (78 percent) were in favor of  organizational guidelines rather than outright prohibitions on workplace romances.  

Work Spouses: The Platonic Paradox

Workplace romances are not the only close relationships happening at work. In fact, one-third of U.S. workers (34 percent) said they have a “work spouse”—referring to a co-worker or business associate with whom they share a close, platonic relationship similar to the intimacy of a marriage. Our findings suggest that the line between platonic camaraderie and romantic leanings is often blurred. Of the respondents with a work spouse, 43 percent admitted that they harbor feelings for this person and 45 percent said they feel like they have to hide their relationship with their work spouse from their romantic partner. Those who have romantic feelings toward their work spouse were over 2.5 times more likely to say they are hiding this relationship from their romantic partner than those who do not have feelings for their work spouse.

Conclusion

Our research sheds light on how complex workplace romances can really be—revealing that what many consider to be fulfilling relationships can sometimes be negative experiences for others. That’s why it’s so important for organizations to:

1. Take proactive measures to manage conflicts of interest that may arise due to workplace relationships, such as reassigning roles or duties, and promptly address any concerns or complaints.
2. Regularly monitor and refine organizational guidelines, policies and procedures on workplace relationships to ensure their effectiveness.
3. Balance support for healthy relationships in the workplace while also upholding professional standards and protocols.
4. Approach workplace romances with empathy, transparency and respect to foster environments conducive to the well-being and success of all employees.

Methodology

A sample of 1,073 U.S. workers was surveyed in January, using a third-party online panel. All workers were paid employees of an organization. The data is unweighted.

Casey Sword is SHRM’s senior specialist, enterprise research solutions.