Ask HR: What to Do When Your Co-Workers Have Fallen Out

SHRM President and Chief Executive Officer Johnny C. Taylor, Jr., SHRM-SCP, answers HR questions each week.

Do you have an HR or work-related question you’d like him to answer? Submit it here.

Two of my co-workers who were previously close had a falling out over work-related incidents. This has since created an awkward dynamic where they don’t socialize or attend social gatherings when they expect the other to be there. Should I try to help them reconcile or leave it to them to sort it out? —Samuel

When two co-workers have a falling out over work-related issues and begin avoiding each other, it’s natural to wonder if you should help them reconcile. The decision depends on whether their conflict is disrupting the workplace. If you’re comfortable doing so, you could talk to them individually to address the awkward dynamic and see if they’re open to having a conversation to move forward in a respectful and professional manner. However, if their tension affects collaboration, team morale, or productivity, it may be necessary for a manager to step in and address the situation. In this case, the focus should be on resolving work-related issues, not on forcing personal reconciliation.

Your manager may already be aware of the awkwardness or tension between your co-workers. Before speaking with your manager, prepare your observations and consider whether (or how) the situation is impacting your work. If anyone else on the team feels the same, you might want to suggest that your manager reach out to them directly. Depending on the specific circumstances, your manager might connect with the human resources (HR) department for mediation or further guidance on how to handle interpersonal conflict within the team.

That said, if the disagreement isn’t impacting their job performance or the team’s productivity, it’s often best to let the employees handle it on their own. While it’s important to maintain professionalism in the workplace, forcing reconciliation in their personal relationship may not be necessary if they continue to be courteous and cooperative in their work.

Ultimately, employees don’t need to be friends to work together, but they do need to collaborate effectively and follow workplace respect policies. Balancing professionalism with personal boundaries is key to resolving these types of conflicts smoothly.

I supervise a team of quality control production inspectors. We have relatively few opportunities to convene as a team, and our meetings tend to veer from our agenda into complaint sessions. What can I do to make sure our meetings are focused and productive? —April

Running focused and productive team meetings is a challenge every leader faces. Unproductive meetings don’t just waste time—they drag down morale and stifle progress. In the U.S., 24 billion hours are wasted each year because of unproductive meetings. The good news is that, with some solid planning and clear objectives, you can turn meetings into a valuable use of time.

Begin by developing a clear meeting agenda, and provide it to attendees in advance, asking them to come prepared to discuss the agenda items. Include information about the time allocated for each topic and the desired action for each discussion item (e.g., decision-making, brainstorming, or information-sharing). At the start of the meeting, reiterate its purpose. This can help keep the discussion focused, and if the conversation starts to stray, you can guide it back to the planned topics.

To keep meetings from turning into complaint sessions, set ground rules ahead of time. For instance, make a rule that if someone complains, they must also present a solution; alternatively, have individuals summarize their complaint in less than a minute or two. Assign an attendee to be the timekeeper. Then have team members provide potential solutions for a complaint without permitting debate or criticism of the solutions within the allotted time. Ask what support is needed to accomplish this goal. Set aside time during meetings for questions or comments and encourage employees to address individual concerns after the meeting with their manager. Use a “parking lot” list for off-topic discussions to be addressed later, so you can stay focused on the agenda.

After the meeting, send out a written record of the discussion, including decisions made and resulting action items. This ensures accountability and provides a reference for future meetings. Be mindful of setting reasonable deadlines for action items and avoid overloading the team with tasks that are unrealistic or unnecessary.

Mastering these techniques may take some practice, but once you’ve got them down, they can transform your meetings into truly productive sessions.