Why Most Virtual Team-Building Fails and What HR Can Do About It

Editor's note: Posts published on From the Workplace are written by outside contributors and do not necessarily reflect the views or opinions of SHRM. 

Remote and hybrid work have brought flexibility for many employees, but they’ve also amplified a persistent problem: social isolation. Even when teams use every collaboration tool available, employees can feel disconnected, disengaged, and culturally adrift from their organizations. For many remote workers, isolation is not just social; it is emotional and cognitive, shaped by reduced informal interaction, limited visibility, and fewer opportunities to feel genuinely connected to colleagues and leaders.

In response, many HR leaders have turned to virtual team-building activities like online trivia nights, mandatory social hours, or “fun” check-ins before meetings. But these efforts often fall short of their intent and, in some cases, leave employees feeling more fatigued than connected. When connection initiatives feel performative or disconnected from employees’ day-to-day realities, participation can decline, and skepticism can grow.

That’s because connection doesn’t happen simply by scheduling activities. In physical workplaces, social interaction often happens organically through hallway conversations, shared lunches, and casual moments before or after meetings. These interactions help employees feel seen, supported, and part of something larger than their task list. In virtual settings, those moments largely disappear. Instead, HR leaders must design connection intentionally and with an understanding of how remote employees actually experience work.

Research on remote work and workplace isolation, including qualitative studies examining employees’ lived experiences, shows that simply offering more virtual events does not necessarily reduce feelings of isolation. Without thoughtful design, well-intentioned activities can feel like just “more Zoom,” adding to cognitive load rather than alleviating disconnection. Organizations need to rethink how they structure connection so it feels meaningful, supportive, and voluntary, not mandatory. 

Here are evidence-informed strategies that HR professionals can use to build real social connection in remote teams:

Make Social Time Optional and Low-Pressure 

Rigid expectations and required attendance turn social time into another meeting. Instead, create optional moments for connection, such as casual virtual coffee chats or open social hours. When employees have autonomy over participation, they are more likely to engage authentically and avoid burnout.

Use Randomized Pairings to Mimic Serendipity 

In lively workplaces, relationships often form by chance, not through planning. Random pairings (sometimes called “donut” meetings) connect employees who wouldn’t otherwise interact and help recreate the informal, cross-functional connections that easily fade in remote work.

Support Interest-Based Groups 

Employees connect most strongly when conversations are about something they care about. Virtual book clubs, hobby groups, or affinity-based meetups give people opportunities to bond around shared interests, not just shared tasks. These spaces can foster belonging without tying connection to performance.

Encourage Leaders to Hold Open Virtual Office Hours 

Connection grows when leaders are approachable and visible. Open, informal office hours without fixed agendas or deliverables signal that leaders value relationships, trust, and employee well-being as much as productivity. For many remote employees, this visibility plays a critical role in feeling supported and psychologically safe.

Build Continuous Feedback Loops 

What feels engaging in one team or culture may feel awkward in another. Routinely ask employees what’s working, what isn’t, and what you can improve. Small, ongoing adjustments grounded in employee feedback make connection efforts feel responsive rather than imposed.

Be Sensitive to Culture and Time Zones 

Remote teams often span geographies and cultures. Avoid one-size-fits-all scheduling. Rotate meeting times or offer asynchronous options so employees can participate without sacrificing personal, cultural, or family commitments.

What’s clear from real-world experience is that connection is not a checkbox. It’s a practice, something that organizations must embed into how teams work, how leaders show up, and how HR designs virtual social systems. When organizations treat connection as a byproduct of activity rather than a crafted experience, it falls flat. But when HR leaders intentionally design space for meaningful interaction, grounded in research and responsive to employee needs, teams feel more engaged, supported, and connected.

ELearning: Essentials of Managing a Hybrid Workforce

Nana Jackson, is a faculty member at Pacific Lutheran University, where she teaches organizational behavior and human resource–related courses. 

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