Keep in Mind the Role of Empathy in Performance Management

In his seminar titled “Performance Management in the Age of Empathy” at SHRM Talent 2025, Michael Cohen, an attorney at Duane Morris in Philadelphia, discussed how employers can build trust with their employees while still ensuring compliance. “[Leaders] have to inspire calm,” he said, referring to how managers interact with their workers and how they follow performance management procedures. 

The Employer-Employee Relationship

An important element of a calm workplace is an open dialogue between employer and employee. When leaders don’t allow their employees to speak openly, they deny those employees that moment of “catharsis” that is so crucial in maintaining employee morale and performance. “We want our employees to come talk to us,” said Cohen. A healthy employer-employee relationship creates trust between the parties, which is an essential part of being an empathetic employer. 

But simply saying you have an open-door policy is not enough. “Bring the door to the employees,” Cohen said. As part of this, he suggested that managers have “spontaneous planned check-ins.” Though the concept sounds oxymoronic, it refers to meetings that are planned for the manager and spontaneous for the employee. Picture a manager dropping in on their employee to chat about the recent baseball game, knowing that the employee is an avid fan of the sport. This kind of engagement plays a critical role in making an employee feel valued, which in turn contributes to improved performance. 

Performance Management as a Positive Force

The goal of performance management is ultimately to help employees reach their potential. That is, performance management is not a one-way road to termination. Rather, feedback and coaching are meant to assist the employee in becoming more adept at their role.  

On a practical level, there is a big financial cost to simply firing employees when there is a problem. Employers need to view performance management as a process that supports employees and ensures that a company does not act rashly. This can help improve retention and reduce the risk of wrongful termination.

 “We don’t fire people simply because we can,” said Cohen. Rather, proper oversight involves giving employees the opportunity to improve. Empathy is thus a key aspect of performance management. The better you treat your employees, said Cohen, the less likely they are to sue you when they leave.  

The Importance of Documentation

Of course, sometimes employees are unable to improve. In these situations, there is nothing better than documentation, according to Cohen. Documentation is not a mere formality but a defense. If necessary, said Cohen, it will show potential jurors that “we did everything we possibly could.” 

Records of performance management (disciplinary actions and employee responses) decrease an employer’s legal exposure. Establishing a paper trail may seem awkwardly official for an employer intent on showing empathy, but it’s also important for the employee. It is part of the honest, transparent dialogue that characterizes a “calm” and reliable workplace. 

Consistency in Performance Management

However, leaders need to understand that there cannot be 100% consistency all the time. “The only thing we know to be predictable are that things are unpredictable,” said Cohen. While the scenarios a manager encounters may be variable, the procedures used to handle those situations should be consistent. The erratic application of discipline creates a chaotic workplace, which can erode trust between workers and management. The goal is to have guidelines in place that ensure fairness and compliance. 

For example, if you give a final warning, you must be ready to actually terminate, said Cohen. If an employer lets one individual get away with their poor performance, they risk a discrimination lawsuit. Let’s say an employer does not terminate John, a heterosexual white man, after a final warning, but six months later they fire Hannah, a pregnant woman, after a final warning. This unintentional prejudice could put the company at legal risk, in addition to damaging employee morale and brand reputation. 

Bringing Managers Up to Speed 

Performance management often intimidates managers, observed Cohen. They don’t engage in the process for a few reasons: 1) They don’t have the time, 2) they assume the problem will go away on its own, and 3) they worry writing someone up will result in a claim. With the rise of hybrid and virtual roles, a manager might not even see the employee in need of performance management, creating an avoidant attitude of “out of sight, out of mind.” 

This is where companies need to take an active role in training managers to participate in performance management. Managers often feel unprepared for the task, and it’s common for individuals to be promoted to management without the proper education. While this is understandable, it is not an excuse to be complacent about managing employee performance. Company leadership should ensure managers are equipped with the tools they need to be effective in their role.

Rachel Zheliabovskii is a specialist, B2C content, at SHRM.