What Civility Data Reveals About How Each Generation Views Respect

Civility isn’t a soft skill organizations can afford to sideline. It’s a leadership behavior the entire workforce watches every day. And according to data from a recent civility pulse survey from SHRM, how well leaders model that behavior may depend on who’s watching. For HR leaders, recognizing inherent gaps in perceptions from workers can help inform how all organizational leaders model civility.

Different Generations, Different Experiences

While 79% of Baby Boomers say their organization’s leaders often or always demonstrate civil behavior in daily interactions, only 66% of Millennials and 65% of Generation Z workers agree.

This signals that younger employees may not feel the same respect from leadership that older colleagues do — even when nothing about their behavior has changed.

The definition of civility shifts across generations too. For example, when it comes to professional courtesy, 74% of Baby Boomers point to it as a key marker of civil leadership, but only 53% of Gen Z say the same. What reads as respectful to one group may not register the same way for another.

Everyone Agrees on the Basics

While experiences differ, the core behaviors that define respectful communication are remarkably consistent across the workforce. Workers overwhelmingly agree on what respect looks like:

• Active listening (96%)
• Clear and concise language (92%)
• Communicating in advance (89%)
• Maintaining eye contact (88%)

This is the foundation for organizations. When leaders across the board master these fundamentals, they’re speaking a language every generation understands.

Why It Starts With HR

On a recent episode of the Honest HR podcast, Marissa Kraftig, CHRO at INT Teledyne, made the case that civility begins with self-management.

“HR is never just responding in a situation,” Kraftig said. “We are modeling the culture in every situation.” Your team takes cues from how you handle pressure, tension, and hard conversations. Lose your composure, and you send a signal about what’s acceptable.

“If we escalate right along with the situation, our employees learn that that's okay and that's acceptable,” Kraftig explained. When you stay calm, listen well, and communicate clearly, you set the standard others follow.

“Emotional intelligence isn’t a soft skill, it’s a leadership action in how we live the values we stand for,” Kraftig said.

Article: The Impact of Civility on Organizational Success

Maintaining Civility Takes Nuance

For HR leaders, civility requires suspending assumptions. Every generation will experience respect in different ways, which means a one-size-fits-all approach won’t work. However, leaderscan anchor themselves in the behaviors everyone values: active listening, clear communication, and self-management before trying to manage the moment.