Fail Smarter: The Science Behind Reframing Mistakes

Failure is a neurological event that can create future behavioral patterns. When people stumble or fall short of expectations, their brains light up in ways that can reinforce fear and negatively impact performance. But with the right mindset shift, people can reframe mistakes, allowing them to adapt more quickly and build stronger neural pathways for resilience and learning, said Matthew Kalb, vice president of client experience at events planning company T3 Expo, during his presentation at SHRM25 in San Diego.  

“Reframing failure can actually be a superpower for your team dynamics,” Kalb said. “Because once we take away the defensive reaction to failure and we move it to more of a reflective opportunity, we will turn it into real growth.”  

Raised in a small town near Baltimore, Kalb was taught a strict work ethic, but also that failure was not acceptable. “Failure was viewed as shameful in a way,” he said. 

Fear of failure followed him to college and into his first job, harming his confidence and ultimately his performance. Early in his career, it even impacted his health. One day, when Kalb was worried about missing an important 7 a.m. meeting at work, he decided to spend the night before sleeping under his desk. He awoke with sores all over his body. He had contracted stress-induced psoriasis, which has affected him his entire life since then. Kalb said he now uses flare-ups “as a signal that it’s time to slow down.”

Failure’s Impact on the Brain 

There’s a scientific reason failure (and the fear of failure) leads to a rapid heartbeat, sweating, and other physical responses. Fear can trigger a stress response, activating the amygdala, a key part of the brain that processes emotions. Repeated negative experiences, including failure, can strengthen neural pathways connected to these emotions.

“That’s ancient wiring because 10,000 years ago, when people failed it was life or death. So, whenever we miss a deadline or botch a pitch, our brain literally thinks we’re being chased by a tiger,” Kalb said. “But the good news is that while this reaction might be preprogrammed, it’s not permanent. Our brains are adaptable and actually neuroplastic.”  

Neuroplasticity is the brain’s ability to change and create new neural pathways in response to new experiences, such as reframing failure with positive thinking. By repeatedly firing these new neural pathways (and engaging in positive behaviors), the old negative neural connections associated with fear get weaker. And this rewiring can lead to a decline in amygdala activation during experiences of failure.  

“Our brains are changeable, malleable, and adaptable. They are wired specifically to learn,” Kalb said. “But change is really hard. Just because our brain can change doesn’t mean it wants to easily. Reframing failure takes a lot of effort. It’s a skill, and like any skill, needs patience and space.”

The benefits of helping workers build this type of resilience are clear. According to SHRM research, employees with lower resilience are 1.5 to 3 times more likely to have thought about quitting or explored getting a new job.

How to Rewire Your Brain and Reframe Failure 

Reframing failure isn’t about ignoring mistakes, Kalb said. It’s about transforming how we interpret them. While the brain’s initial reaction to failure may be to signal danger, people can train their brains to view setbacks as opportunities for learning and growth. By intentionally practicing new mental habits, they can take advantage of the brain’s neuroplasticity and replace fear-based responses with resilience.  

Here are some mental habits Kalb suggested embracing to help reframe failure:

Actively reflect. Instead of dwelling on what went wrong, focus on what you learned and how you can apply that learning.  

“Oftentimes when we’re failing, we’re having a negative conversation in our heads,” Kalb said. “Imagine a small, intentional shift in the type of comments or questions you ask yourself that focus on, ‘What can I do better next time?’ Think about it, reflect on it, and even write it down.”

Zoom out. Take a step back to view the broader context. Seeing failure as one experience in a much longer story helps reduce its emotional weight and puts progress into perspective. 

“When I fail or when someone on my team does, in that moment failure feels like everything. But when we zoom out, it’s just a small piece of the grand scheme of learning,” Kalb said. “Zoom in when it’s time to understand the details and zoom out when it’s time to be in clarity. Because growth happens when we aim to do both.”  

Build a culture where learning from failure is normalized. Leaders don’t want to encourage failure, of course, but it’s important to make clear to employees that failure comes along with innovation and taking risks. The key is to make reflection on those failures intentional instead of accidental. Regularly gather your team members and ask for their feedback on what could have been improved, even on your own mistakes.

“We need to start reframing failure as data,” Kalb said. “If we start thinking of failure this way — not as a red flag but as a sign of growth, not as something to hide but as something to share — it shapes the culture. It changes failure from a weakness to becoming your team’s greatest advantage.”