The Antidote to Fear: What Results in the Next Right Action

The following excerpt is from the soon-to-be-released book Surrender to Lead: The Counterintuitive Approach to Driving Extraordinary Results by Jessica Kriegel and Joe Terry (Amplify Publishing Group, 2026). In this excerpt, Kriegel explores how a radical embrace of selfless love and commitment to others' well-being can transform a culture of fear and lead to success. Preorders for the book are available now at surrendertolead.com.

When fear rules our decisions, it reduces our potential and fractures our relationships. It keeps us separate and isolated. What is the antidote to fear? Get ready for the touchy-feely part; it’s actually love. 

You can’t get to the next Right Action—the very point of the SHIFT process—without disengaging from fear. When you do, then the next Right Action suggests itself. Love is a simple four-letter word for a demanding and complicated idea. C. S. Lewis, in The Four Loves, distinguishes four kinds of love—affection (storge), friendship (philia), romantic love (eros), and selfless love (agape). 

We are speaking of agape love, a deliberate commitment to another person’s well- being—what Saint Thomas Aquinas called “to will the good of another.” The antidote to self- will is the “other.” 

Throughout each day, your decision-maker—your mind—wavers between two voices. The ego’s fearful shout is loud, urging you to grip harder, to hide, to fight, to blame—all repeated invitations to venture further into the Action Trap. But there’s a quieter place inside you, call it intuition, spirit, or higher reasoning, that whispers about love, honesty, and abundance. When you choose to SHIFT, you consciously move away from fear’s illusions (that you can—or must—control everything, that there’s never enough, that what you want is the most important thing) and align with the thought system grounded in trust, collaboration, and love. 

The self-based worldview insists on competition, scarcity, and control. Its inner script says: 

• Attack before being attacked. 
• Control or be controlled. 
• Keep secrets, or chaos will ensue. 

This mindset is fueled by the fear that, unless we grip tightly, we’ll lose everything. In a fear-based workplace, employees hoard information, managers cling to rigid processes, and leaders gatekeep opportunities. People become self-protective instead of supportive, suspicious instead of trusting. It looks “productive” on the surface, but it erodes creativity and flattens people’s spirits. 

Love in the workplace offers a radical alternative. This world view says: 

• I would rather give credit than receive it.
• I will trust before it is earned. 
• Openness doesn’t breed chaos—it creates clarity.

In a culture where fear is tamed by love, competition still exists, but the competition is healthy, focused on bigger goals instead of petty rivalries. “Outperforming each other” is replaced by “supporting each other to outdo yesterday’s best.” Instead of fixating on the next quarter’s numbers alone, we commit to fulfilling a greater purpose that the numbers are tracking toward. 

Airbnb made love a company value. New York Life built an entire Super Bowl campaign around agape love, and yet whenever I (Jessica) explored the idea, I was swiftly told to quiet down. But in 2020, I began a master’s in divinity at the Pacific School of Religion, and so I decided to dive into love once more. 

I interviewed sixty CHROs to explore when and how genuine love manifests in the workplace. A recurring theme emerged. Employees experienced the deepest care and unity in one of two scenarios: during extreme crisis or extreme success. Layoffs, deaths, catastrophes—these were the moments that stripped away masks and laid bare our common humanity. People discovered that love (compassion, empathy, support) wasn’t merely a “nice” concept; it was the only way they got through the storm. But they also showed love when they had remarkable success. The win brought out their inner “I love you, man.” 

And yet, love in the workplace remains taboo. We hesitate to say the word because it feels too personal, too emotional, too vulnerable.

That may feel uncomfortable—especially in a world that loves nuance. But the human experience is ultimately shaped by one of these two drivers. Every decision, every conversation, every experience you create either flows from fear (control, scarcity, self- protection) or love (trust, abundance, shared purpose). One contracts. The other expands. Fear-based cultures cling to scarcity, compliance, micromanagement, and short-term wins. Love-based cultures create the conditions for long-term excellence—where accountability isn’t forced, it’s embraced. Where people don’t need to be pushed, because they’re pulled by purpose. 

It’s not that love eliminates pressure. It transforms it. We believe that is why when the pressure is highest—during crises or moments of peak performance—love is what rises to the surface. So, the real leadership question isn’t “How do we balance love and fear?”  It’s “Which one are you operating from?”

And if you’ve chosen love—really chosen it—then you know: It doesn’t mean being soft. It doesn’t mean avoiding hard conversations or lowering expectations. Love is not the absence of challenge. Love is the presence of responsibility. In fact, “Love is accountability.” 

That’s a quote from Ron Alvesteffer, CEO of IT service provider Service Express and one of our accountability clients. 

Ron didn’t always lead this way. Early in his career, he was gripping tightly to results, pushing hard for performance, and unintentionally creating a culture of pressure rather than empowerment. He admits that at the time, he wasn’t the leader he wanted to be—or even the person he wanted to be. Frustration was mounting, turnover was rising, and the business wasn’t seeing the results he expected.  

Then came a moment of transformation. Through feedback and self-reflection, Ron realized that his approach wasn’t working—not just for his employees, but for himself. He had fallen into the Action Trap, believing that the only way to get better results was to demand more. 

So, he made a shift. He let go and, in his words, he surrendered. 

Instead of leading from fear, he focused on caring for others. He invested in people, understood their personal and professional goals, and took accountability to create an environment where they could thrive. Accountability was no longer a weapon; it was an act of care. As he puts it: 

Care doesn’t mean not challenging people. It means celebrating what they’re good at and coaching them where they need to grow. Love is accountability. I care about you enough to hold you accountable to the goals so that we—and you—can be successful here.  

And the results followed.

Ron was promoted to president of Service Express, then later CEO. Under his leadership, the company grew from $3 million to over $300 million, with sights set on $1 billion. But more than the revenue, it was the culture that transformed. His team felt the difference so deeply that they made T- shirts reading, “Ron cares about me with the intensity of 1,000 suns.” 

This is what happens when leaders step out of fear and into love. It’s not soft. It’s not passive. It’s demanding, disciplined, and transformative. Love fuels accountability, and accountability drives results. Ron’s story is proof that when leaders stop gripping tightly and start trusting deeply, success follows.

Jessica Kriegel, Ed.D., is the chief strategy officer at Culture Partners, as well as an author and keynote speaker. She has more than 15 years of experience creating intentional workplace cultures that align with business strategies to drive performance.