Friendship at Work Boosts Employee Well-Being, Engagement, and Performance

Having friends at work makes employees happier and more engaged. Workplace friendships go beyond “small talk” at the coffee station—these are relationships that provide connection, reduce loneliness and stress, and boost overall well-being, which, in turn, improves job satisfaction and performance.  

“Companies may not realize it, but healthy relationships are the foundation of every single problem we want to solve in the workplace,” said Shasta Nelson, a speaker, author, and expert on how workplace friendships can positively impact employee performance and well-being.

“HR professionals tell me that the bulk of the stressors in their day-to-day work and the bulk of things that give their day more meaning are about people and relationships. People are our biggest stress and our biggest joy, yet rarely do we train to or even talk about building social relationships in the workplace,” she said.

The Benefits of Workplace Friendships

Research from Cigna shows that over 60% of working adults consider themselves lonely, which affects not only the employee but also the organization.  

“When you’re lonely, you’re less empathetic, less hopeful, less creative, and less engaged,” Nelson said. Productivity and retention go down, and absenteeism and presenteeism go up.

“We know that workplace friendships make a big difference in affecting satisfaction at work and reducing turnover,” said Paul Ingram, a professor of business at Columbia Business School in New York City. “Friendships help employees get the information they need to get things done and the support to execute on their work.”

Nelson said that, based on assessments she runs with companies, those who say they have a best friend at work almost always have happiness, engagement, and recognition scores that are twice as high as those who say they don’t have a best friend at work.

“Many people spend more hours with work friends than with friends outside of work,” Nelson said. “People are more excited to come to work if they have friends there. There’s more joy at work.”

The health benefits—both physical and mental—are another powerful argument in favor of cultivating workplace friendships. “Feeling supported acts as a buffer that protects our bodies from the impact and damage that we know results from stress,” Nelson said.

Cronyism—a form of favoritism—is one of the biggest criticisms of the idea of fostering friendships at work, Ingram said. Personal drama and lack of productivity are other common concerns. But experts don’t see merit in these charges.  

“I don’t believe that organizations rife with cronyism survive in the long run,” Ingram said. “And I don’t believe that having personal relationships is inherently corrupting.” 

Nelson added that favoritism and gossiping are aspects of a workplace that have always been there and will remain even if you repress friendship-building.

“You solve personal relationship problems not by avoiding friendship but by teaching and training how to build healthy relationships,” she said. “You would never send your kids to school and say, ‘You are there to learn, so don’t make friends, don’t get caught up in talking to people.’ ”

The organization reaps the benefits of workplace friendships as well. “HR has been taught for so long that business and personal lives should stay separate, but you’re missing out on all that engagement if you don’t cultivate friendship,” Nelson said. “People who are feeling connected treat customers better, have less absenteeism, will be happier and more energetic, and will be less likely to leave. Teams are more comfortable brainstorming, taking risks, and problem-solving.”

How HR Can Cultivate Workplace Friendships

Nelson said that more people in management and HR should prioritize fostering workplace friendships. HR has an incredible opportunity to create an environment where workplace friendships can flourish, serve the organization’s mission, and boost the bottom line.

Some of the ways that employers can jump-start and nourish workplace friendships include:

• Education. Ingram said that HR can educate workers on the importance of building social capital and employee networks. Nelson recommended modeling the desired behavior by helping people see that relationships are beneficial and giving employees permission to have friends in the workplace.
• Team building. Having regular team-building exercises can help employees bond and develop friendships. That means setting up time and space to maximize connection, Nelson said. “That could be shared meals, common areas for socializing, and making time at meetings for personal sharing.” 
• Collaboration. Ingram said that organizational and job design have a role in building workplace relationships as well. He gave the example of Uber’s headquarters resembling a beehive, with limited physical barriers and areas provided for communing. “Rotating people across departments is another good way to build social capital inside the organization,” he said.