How to Foster a Culture of Empathy in the Workplace

People in the U.S. are increasingly polarized by politics, and that polarization is spilling into the workplace. Many workers don’t know how to show empathy and behave with civility and courtesy toward colleagues, customers, and clients who disagree with them—especially as the presidential election looms.

The good news is that empathy—the ability to understand the feelings of another person—can be learned, according to Sara Konrath, a social psychologist who directs the Interdisciplinary Program on Empathy and Altruism Research at the Indiana University Lilly Family School of Philanthropy in Indianapolis.

“We know that people can be trained to become more empathetic through a variety of programs and methods,” including role-playing exercises and “exposure to highly empathetic role models,” Konrath wrote in a Psychology Today blog post.  

But don’t confuse empathy with agreement, said Sarah Noll Wilson, an executive coach and founder and president of Sarah Noll Wilson Inc., a consulting firm that helps organizational leaders build and repair their teams.

“I don’t have to agree with you to be empathetic, just like I don’t have to agree with you to understand you, to listen to you,” she said. “So, think about it from a political perspective. I can seek to understand you and not agree with, like, your ultimate decision, but those aren't exclusive, right?”

Empathy is inherently linked to civility, according to SHRM leadership, because it is a skill that involves making a conscious effort to see a situation from the other person’s point of view and working to find a solution.

Empathy isn’t the same thing as pity or mercy, said SHRM President and Chief Executive Officer Johnny C. Taylor, Jr., SHRM-SCP. 

“Empathy means putting yourself in the place of the other without judgment or bias and trying to understand each person’s unique lived experiences—the ones that shaped them and the ones that made them act and say what they do,” he said.

Taylor and other experts shared five ways HR professionals can cultivate empathy.

  1. Start by Looking Within

HR professionals should first be introspective when it comes to fostering empathy, Taylor said.

“Which of our policies are unintentionally and unfairly picking winners and losers? Are our 'safe spaces’ really safe for everyone and not just for people we think need a safe space?” he asked. “… I urge you to challenge outdated beliefs and practices and use empathy to make a more open, accessible, inclusive, diverse, and equitable workforce.” 

Start by examining whether you, your HR colleagues, or other leaders in your organization have an “empathy stigma,” as a recent Businessolver report calls it. The report, Empathy Under Pressure: Pouring From an Empty Empathy Cup, found that: 

• 54% of CEOs, 41% of HR professionals, and 32% of employees said they would not be respected as much if they demonstrated empathy.
• 69% of CEOs, 39% of HR professionals, and 31% of employees said being empathetic “will make me a pushover.”

 “This ‘empathy stigma’ gets in the way of showing empathy in their day to day, which in turn can have a negative ripple effect on company culture,” Businessolver President and CEO Jon Shanahan said in the report’s introduction. 

That stigma often comes up in executive coaching, Noll Wilson has found. In working on empathy with clients, she said she and her team are often asked, “Can’t you be too empathetic?”  

“And really what they’re trying to get to is, ‘I’ll be a pushover’ ” if they display empathy, she said. However, empathy is not the opposite of accountability, she pointed out. 

“Being highly empathetic doesn't mean you're also not going to hold somebody accountable and have standards or expectations.”

 2. Practice Empathy

Practicing empathy involves several factors, according to Jeremy York, SHRM-SCP, lead consultant and president of Indianapolis-based InvigorateHR. York shared the following advice during the SHRM Annual Conference & Expo 2022, when he was vice president of talent strategy success for HR consulting firm Purple Ink LLC: 

• Listening to your workers and the meaning behind their words. Pay attention to nonverbal cues, reflect what is being expressed, and summarize what you are hearing.

• Encouraging genuinely seeing the other’s perspective. Managers should figuratively put themselves in their direct report’s place. It’s a good application for solving problems, managing conflict, or driving innovation.

• Cultivating compassion. Communicate openly, express yourself clearly to others, and be aware of others’ emotions and thoughts—your words can make or ruin their day.  Verbally encouraging and motivating others exemplifies compassion.

“One of the ways that we can work on that empathy,” Noll Wilson said, “is by being really focused on how do I show up as a leader, as an HR professional, to make sure that the person who’s sitting in front of me feels seen, valued, respected, and protected.” 

There are tangible ways organizations can foster empathy, she noted. Do your bereavement policies only apply to blood relatives? Do you have leave options for both mothers and fathers? For adoptions? Do you offer mental health days? Also, consider flexible work arrangements—permanent or situational—when possible.

However, “[t]he big policies won’t matter as much if the daily interactions aren’t also showing up in ways that are supportive,” such as celebrating employee milestones and victories, she added. “Companies need to think about bigger commitments and be really intentional in the small moments.” 

3. Measure Empathy in Your Organization 

While empathy can’t be measured directly or instantly, there are ways you can gauge it and do so over a period of time, according to empathy expert Mimi Nicklin, author of Softening the Edge (The Dreamwork Collective, 2020) and founder of the platform Empathy Everywhere.

What you measure depends on your objectives, though the goal is often to measure connectivity features such as engagement and collaboration. 

“You’re going to have to put in metrics that enable you to measure those connectivity features, engagement and collaboration, prior to any training or exemplification of the creation of empathy and then afterwards,” Nicklin said in a recent video posted on social media.

You can use a variety of tools: distributing anonymous questionnaires, running engagement metrics across your organization, or building empathy criteria into a team’s key performance indicators to keep track of milestones, she suggested.

“How you choose those criteria is critical,” and you should measure empathy in a couple of different ways and over a period of time, Nicklin advised HR professionals “You have to formalize it … People need to know what you’re measuring to be able to improve their performance, or their engagement, to match that measurement.”

4. Make the Business Case

You can help your organization make the connection between empathy and performance. It’s especially important when working in global organizations or across cultural boundaries, according to the Center for Creative Leadership (CCL).  

“Empathy generates an interest in and appreciation for others, paving the way to more productive working relationships,” the report said, and managers who are empathetic toward their direct reports are seen by their bosses as better performers.

“One way to make sure the whole office benefits from a culture of empathy is to make sure that the senior leadership team practices what they preach,” according to the Kellogg School of Management at Northwestern University in Evanston, Ill.

That could include leaders using open-ended questions such as “Help me understand” or “Tell me more about that” to completely understand an employee’s point of view.

5. Train Employees on Empathy as You Would Anything Else

• Hire a professional: Find a training provider in your area, York advised, and include training for front-line managers. Managers who show more empathy toward their direct reports are viewed as better performers in their job by their bosses, the CCL found. For example, these managers look for signs their direct reports may be overworked or stressed and show sincere interest in their employees’ needs. A five-minute check-in call with a remote worker can go a long way.

• Teach listening skills: Managers must be good listeners, the CCL advises, and it suggests teaching listening skills: 

• Give the other person your full attention; put that electronic device away.

• Withhold judgment.

• Paraphrase or repeat what the other person says to demonstrate you are paying attention to what was said and to make sure you understood. Ask for clarification when needed.

• Share your own experience when appropriate: “That sounds like something I went through.”

• Draw attention to the right behaviors: “Empathy often belongs to a quiet majority,” Stanford University psychology professor Jamil Zaki wrote in Harvard Business Review. Using incentives and recognition, for example, “can allow employees to see its prevalence, turning up the volume on a positive norm.” HR leaders should model this practice by publicly acknowledging empathetic employees or behaviors and encouraging managers to do so as well in their everyday interactions with their direct reports.  

Related Resources:

The Power of Empathy Can Be a G-I-F-T to Your Workplace

Why Empathetic Leadership Builds Strong Teams

Giving Employees Harsh Reviews with Empathy

Embracing Change and Empathy: Being Future-Ready

Linking Theory + Practice: Empathy

The Empathic Executive

6 Ways to Become a More Empathetic Organization 

How HR Leaders Can Create Empathetic Workplaces