Out From Behind Closed Doors

Often perceived as an intensely personal issue confined to the home, domestic violence—and its often-insidious impact on victims and the overall wellness of a workplace—is the concern of HR professionals as well.

Victims of domestic violence are often employees with strong ties to their co-workers, supervisors, and organizations. Because many victims hide their abuse—out of shame or fear for their or their loved ones’ safety—HR professionals have to be aware of the warning signs that may indicate the threat of personal harm to their workers and workplaces, and know their professional and legal obligations to protect them both.

This was the important message that Carmen Aliber, director of HR at Dexter Southfield, a college prep school near Boston, shared on June 24 at SHRM24 during her session, “Domestic Abuse: What Goes On Behind Closed Doors Impacts the Workplace.” Aliber aligned her message to SHRM’s civility campaign, drawing on her experience as both an HR director and a survivor of domestic violence.

“When civility in the workplace breaks down, it can have real consequences not only on employees, but also on the domestic realm they inhabit when they return home from work,” said Aliber, who is also the co-founder of Together Rising Above Coercion, an advocacy coalition working to expand legal protections for abuse survivors. She reminded attendees that people who mistreat family members are also in their workplaces. People who are treated poorly on the job may take their anger and frustration out on the people they live with, as our behavior at work does not happen in a vacuum. “The person who is having a bad day at work is going to take it back home,” Aliber warned, “and it will boomerang back to you in the workplace.”

A Full-Blown Epidemic

The roots of domestic violence go far deeper than workplace incivility, Aliber said. Domestic violence is a full-blown epidemic in the U.S., affecting 1 in 4 women and 1 in 10 men, and the impact on their lives often extends far beyond their homes.

A full 96% of employed domestic violence victims report problems at work due to their abuse, and 44% of full-time employed adults in the U.S. report experiencing the effects of domestic violence at work, Aliber said. But despite these startling statistics, she noted that more than 70% of companies lack programs to address workplace violence. They do so at their own risk. “Whatever it costs an employer to help employees impacted by domestic violence will be far less than what it can cost the victim or the larger workplace,” Aliber said.

Costs also go beyond the physical threat to employees. Domestic violence can have a devastating impact on employers in terms of lost productivity and revenue, Aliber said, to the tune of $1.8 billion and 8 million lost workdays nationwide each year. Given that 23% of workers experiencing domestic violence lose their jobs due to the abuse, it’s not difficult to understand how significant that impact is.

But there’s more to gain than revenue and productivity. “When you support abuse victims in the workplace, you will get the most loyal employees ever,” Aliber said.

HR on the Front Lines

            Ultimately, Aliber said, some of the impact of domestic violence will fall on HR to handle. That means it’s crucial that HR professionals know how to adequately respond when they suspect an employee is a victim of violence at home. One of the most important things they should know are the indicators that domestic violence may be occurring. Such indicators are not always as obvious as a black eye, she added, especially since not all abuse is physical. Most often, it first presents as performance issues. Some indicators include:

• Increased distraction. A high-performing employee may exhibit less focus, motivation, and productivity. They may be distracted by nonstop phone calls or texts. These issues can impact performance ratings.
• Self-isolation. An employee may inexplicably stop spending time with friends at work and after hours, skipping social activities and get-togethers they previously enjoyed.
• Atypical behavior. A previously honest employee may violate work policies, such as those against petty theft, or they may make uncharacteristically impulsive decisions. They may repeatedly come to work with noticeable injuries and excuse them with stories of being clumsy or accident-prone. They may begin to jump or startle when someone unexpectedly enters their office.
• Poor attendance. An employee with little or no history of attendance issues may be habitually tardy, call out of work with no notice, or leave work early with no or flimsy explanations.

For HR professionals who suspect domestic abuse, Aliber said, equally as important as knowing what to do is knowing what not to do. Well-meaning actions may have unanticipated—and potentially disastrous—consequences. When an HR professional tries to “fix” a domestic violence situation in a way they think is best, Aliber explained, they can inadvertently make things even worse for the victim. Rather, it is incumbent upon HR to take cues from the employee in question and respond with resources that can help them.

“Match the level of support required by the victim,” Aliber advised. “Ask the employee what they may need and respond by giving them the appropriate resources. The most important thing you can do is be open and receptive to what the employee may need. HR can be a lifeline in this situation. Let the victim know that you are there and ready to help if they request it.”

Aliber recommended that HR professionals access SHRM resources on preventing workplace violence as a starting point:

• How do we help an employee we suspect is the victim of domestic violence?
• When Domestic Violence Comes to Work
• How Companies Can Support Victims of Domestic Violence
• SHRM Toolkit Resources

Often, domestic abuse victims blame themselves for their situations, and HR professionals may be at a loss for words. “One of the most compassionate and effective things you can say them is ‘It is not your fault,’ ” Aliber said.