Ask HR: How to Ask Co-Workers to Recommend You for a Job

SHRM President and Chief Executive Officer Johnny C. Taylor, Jr., SHRM-SCP, answers HR questions each week.

Do you have an HR or work-related question you’d like him to answer? Submit it here.

I’ve been asked for a professional reference in my recent job search. My old references are outdated and don’t relate to my recent roles. How should I ask for a recommendation from a former boss or co-worker? —Naomi

When asked to provide professional references during your job search, it’s essential to approach the right people and make your request thoughtfully and professionally. Here’s how you can effectively ask a former boss or co-worker for a recommendation:

• Identify suitable references. Choose individuals who can provide a positive endorsement and speak specifically to your recent roles, skills, work ethic, and achievements. This could be a former boss, co-worker, senior leader, or mentor.
• Reach out professionally. You can make your request verbally, via email, or through LinkedIn. Use a professional tone, and make your request clear and concise.
• Craft your request. Be specific about the job you are applying for, including the company name and key skills or qualifications the employer seeks. This helps your reference tailor their recommendation to highlight the most relevant aspects of your background.
• Check for errors. Before sending your request, proofread it for any spelling or grammar mistakes to ensure it’s polished and professional.
• Express gratitude. Always thank the person for their time, thoughtful consideration, and willingness to help. Show appreciation regardless of their response.
• Be prepared for other options. Not everyone may be able to provide a reference due to their availability or company policies. Have a few different professionals in mind as backups. They could include other former colleagues, mentors, or people you’ve volunteered with.
• Provide context. If they agree, give them more details about the role and the types of skills or achievements you’d like them to emphasize. This will help make their reference more relevant and impactful.

Following these steps will make it easier for your former boss or co-worker to provide a strong, relevant reference to support your job search. Best of luck in securing your new role!

I manage a small team of health and safety inspectors and analysts from varied backgrounds. They sometimes have misunderstandings stemming from their different life experiences. Can I help them get along better and minimize flare-ups at work? —Cyril

Absolutely! While fostering friendships may not be within your control, you can certainly create an environment where your team works together effectively and minimizes conflicts. Here are some strategies to help your diverse team get along better:

• Promote a culture of acceptance and respect. Model and encourage a workplace culture that values acceptance, inclusion, and respect. Regularly communicate the importance of these values in team meetings and one-on-one interactions. Acknowledge and celebrate the diversity within your team. This could include recognizing various cultural holidays and events, which can help build mutual respect and understanding.
• Provide inclusion, equity, and diversity (IE&D) training. Offer training sessions to highlight the benefits of IE&D. These sessions should focus on understanding and appreciating differences as well as recognizing unconscious biases. Emphasize commonalities such as shared goals, love for family, and mutual professional aspirations to help team members see beyond their differences.
• Encourage active listening. Teach and model active listening skills. Encourage team members to pay full attention when someone is speaking, refrain from interrupting, and ask clarifying questions to ensure they fully understand the speaker’s point of view. Consider workshops or training sessions on effective communication and active listening to reinforce these skills.
• Address conflicts promptly and respectfully. When misunderstandings or disputes arise, address them quickly and with respect. Create a safe space for team members to express their concerns, and work together to find solutions. Focus on the issue at hand rather than personalizing disagreements. Encourage a problem-solving mindset that seeks to understand the root cause of conflicts.
• Lead by example. Demonstrate the behaviors you want to see in your team. Show respect, actively listen, and appreciate each team member's unique perspective. Provide consistent feedback and recognition for positive interactions and collaborative efforts within the team.
• Facilitate team-building activities. Organize team-building exercises to promote collaboration and understanding. These activities can help break down barriers and build trust among team members. Consider activities that highlight each team member’s strengths and unique contributions, fostering a sense of appreciation and teamwork.

Any team of people brought together is bound to have differences based on their backgrounds and preferences. The key to bringing them together is understanding and respecting those differences and acknowledging common perspectives and identities. We can’t assume people will always get along. Instead, we must facilitate civility among one another and create pathways to both prevent and resolve disputes.

By implementing these strategies, you can help team members from varied backgrounds work together more harmoniously and effectively. Creating an inclusive and respectful work environment will minimize conflicts and enhance overall team productivity and job satisfaction.