Ask HR: How to Disclose a Romantic Relationship in the Workplace

SHRM President and Chief Executive Officer Johnny C. Taylor, Jr., SHRM-SCP, answers HR questions each week.

Do you have an HR or work-related question you’d like him to answer? Submit it here.

I’ve been dating a co-worker for the last couple months. We have an upcoming company social and want to attend the event together. Should we reveal our relationship before the party? What’s the best way to do so? —Reed 

Thanks for sharing your situation! Navigating workplace relationships can be thorny, but approaching them honestly and professionally is always the best course of action. Since you plan to attend the company social event together, it’s wise to consider whether and how to disclose your relationship beforehand. 

Start by reviewing your company’s policies on workplace relationships, employee dating, or personal relationships. If your employer has a formal policy, ensure you and your partner comply with that policy and any disclosure requirements. These policies are typically in place not to interfere in your personal life but to prevent potential conflicts of interest, favoritism concerns, and workplace disruptions.

If your company does not require disclosure, you and your partner should still consider how your workplace will perceive the relationship. Many employees are comfortable with workplace relationships, but transparency can help prevent unnecessary speculation or awkwardness at work. A simple, professional acknowledgment—such as informing your direct supervisor or HR—can demonstrate your commitment to maintaining workplace professionalism.

If you decide to disclose your relationship, keep it brief and professional. Something as simple as: “We wanted to share that we’re seeing each other outside of work. We remain committed to keeping things professional in the workplace, and we don’t expect this to impact our roles.”

Ultimately, whether you disclose your relationship before the event hinges on your workplace culture and your comfort level. If you choose not to say anything beforehand, be mindful of how you interact at the event to maintain professionalism. Regardless of your decision, the key is to ensure your relationship does not violate company policy, interfere with your work responsibilities, or create challenges for your colleagues.

I hope you enjoy the company event and that your relationship continues to thrive both personally and professionally!

I’m a recent graduate who landed a full-time job opportunity. As I begin my career, I’m struggling with the “office politics” among some team members. I know there will always be such issues at any company, but I’m also part of the human resources team—where these issues are occurring. I’m feeling burned out already as a result of this and am only a few months in. Any suggestions on how to navigate the situation? Thank you! —Susan 

First, congratulations on landing a full-time job! Transitioning from student life to the professional world is a big step, and, understandably, office politics can feel overwhelming—especially in human resources, where professionalism and impartiality are expected at a higher level.

The reality is that office politics exist in every organization. Rather than viewing it as purely negative, consider it an opportunity to develop key workplace dynamics, communication, and leadership skills. As you grow in your HR career, you’ll better understand power structures, decision-making processes, and how to positively influence company culture.

 Here are a few strategies to help you navigate this challenge:

• Stay neutral and professional. Avoid engaging in gossip or taking sides. A strong HR professional focuses on policies and organizational objectives rather than personalities. If you feel caught in the middle, redirect conversations toward solutions and facts.

• Develop your positive HR influence. You may not have decision-making power yet, but you do have influence. Lead by example, promote transparent communication, and stay aligned with the company’s mission and values. Over time, you’ll help shape the culture for the better.

• Set boundaries and prioritize self-care. Office politics can be emotionally draining. Establish boundaries to separate work from your personal life and engage in activities outside work to help you recharge. Burnout is real, but proactive self-care can help prevent it.
• Seek guidance and build a support system. Find a mentor, either inside or outside your organization, who can help you navigate these challenges. Learning from someone with experience can provide perspective and actionable advice. Additionally, take time to understand your co-workers’ personalities and motivations—this can help you work more effectively as a team.

You’re not alone in feeling this way. Navigating office politics is a skill that takes time to develop, but once mastered, it will serve you well throughout your career. Stay professional, resilient, and focused on the bigger picture: your growth and impact in the field of HR.