Why Humility Is the Key to Becoming a Trusted HR Advisor

Sometimes, HR doesn’t have all the answers. Luckily, being an effective leader doesn’t mean handing out solutions left and right, said Josh Wymore of leadership coaching firm WYMORE in Fort Wayne, Ind., but rather working with employees to find the potential outcomes to their challenges.

Doing so starts by being humble, Wymore said at SHRM25 in San Diego. According to his research, humility is based on four pillars:

1. Accurate self-perception. “We often think that humility is [having] a low view of myself,” said Wymore, author of Humbler Leadership (Leadership Transformation Lab, 2023). That’s not the case. Humble people are aware of their weaknesses, but they also know their strengths, he said.
2. Appreciating others’ strengths. By recognizing their own weaknesses, humble leaders understand they need others. They “cooperate instead of compete,” Wymore said.
3. Growth mindset. This means a belief that success is driven by effort and process, not by natural ability. “Humble leaders are teachable. They’re curious,” he said. “They’re open to feedback.”
4. Greater purpose. Humble leaders understand that it’s not about them, but rather what’s best for the organization. “This is the spark that really gets people to take that next level of action,” Wymore said.

Although it’s great to be seen as an expert, HR professionals can play a more pivotal role when viewed by employees as trusted advisors who they can come to with challenges and leave feeling empowered to take meaningful action.

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A Coaching Session Gone Crooked

When an HR pro thinks they have a solution right off the bat for an employee’s concern, it can lead to a futile interaction. Consider a conversation that goes something like this:

Employee: My boss is just driving me wild. I don’t know how to get projects done because they’re micromanaging me.

HR pro: Part of being a young professional is figuring out how to navigate that situation. Have you read the book Atomic Habits by James Clear? It’s got a lot of great tips to maximize your productivity and push through difficult situations.

Employee: Yeah, I’ll read it.

HR pro: You’ll do fine. Hey, I’ve got to go. Thanks for stopping by.

“We all have this ‘advice monster’ inside ourselves,” Wymore said. “We think we’re being helpful.”

What if, he asked, the HR pro took a different approach by not giving advice but by asking questions instead? This sends some key messages: First, the employee is in control of the discussion. Next, the employee has something to offer. Finally, the HR professional cares more about being present in the moment than getting them out the door.

The purpose, Wymore said, is that you’re “leading to insights, not leading with insights.”

A Conversation That Clicked

With this new approach in mind, Wymore said, another meeting with an employee could play out something like this:

Employee: I created this project for associates to have better access to leave management. But our FMLA team sat me down in a meeting and told me all the reasons it wouldn’t work.

HR pro: That sounds really frustrating. What do you want me to coach you through today?

Employee: I want to know how I should feel and how I can bounce back from this. How can I feel like I didn’t waste my time?

HR pro: What I’m hearing from you is that you want help figuring out how to move forward professionally and make sure you still find worth in the work you did already. What question do you want to dig into first?

Employee: How can I feel OK about the time I spent on this?

HR pro: What makes this so important to you?

Employee: I want to make sure I’m using my time well. I want to make an impact on the organization.

HR pro: It sounds like you really care about being a good steward of your resources and leaving the place better than you found it. If you knew that you were doing that, what would that do for you?

Employee: I would feel like I’m making a difference. It’s important to make sure I’m bringing innovation to the company.

HR pro: If we were to cross paths next year, what would you want to tell me about what happened next?

Employee: That I took the hard work that I put into this project and found ways to get to the same objective in smaller, clearer ways that were accepted. That I still made that difference on a smaller scale.

HR pro: That you accomplished your goal, even if it wasn’t in the way you originally thought. What’s one thing you want to walk away with to help achieve that goal?

Employee: I want to go back to the objective that I initially had and work with the FMLA team to see if they have possible solutions.

By helping the employee process their thoughts via open-ended questions, the HR professional allowed them to realize what’s important and find a potential remedy, Wymore said.

“When you work with humble leaders,” he said, “they leave people smarter than they found them.”